Saturday, January 3, 2009

To explain something...

Now many of you who are reading this probably wonder what the hell happened with this whole deal about a random comment on flickr I made. Well as many of you know I am an honest person, and it is the attribute of honesty which I value above all others. I don't care much about superficial things such as the looks of people behind their computer screen on SL, more about the actual person behind it and their character. Recent events with my best friend having to actually leave SL due to fighting cancer, and another one of my closest and best friends on here not being on as much as usual due to also fighting cancer started me thinking about something. Then the revelation to hear from 2 more friends that their parents were currently fighting cancer and getting told explicit details of how the treatment was affecting them personally, seeing someone they love fight for their lives being powerless to do much other than offer their love and support reminded me back to each and every time I saw the 3 of my RL grandparents pass due to cancer itself, and the battles they fought.

Then I log into SL as I usually did. Then I was informed by a reliable source that someone from my past had resurfaced back into the scene. This person was none other than my ex-gf C.D., now in the form of the designer at the focus of this topic. Now many of you may remember, at one stage I was head over heels for this girl. Then I found out the whole relationship was founded upon lies. The biggest of these, was the fact that she was leaving SL due to having cancer.

Now at one stage, C.D. told me that she had terminal cancer and only was given 6 months to live. Now me being the caring person I am, and having faith in the person behind the screen telling me this, I believed every word. However, when she described the type of cancer she had, giving me vague details about the cancer itself and the treatment she was undergoing I started to become a little suspicious, especially when I spoke to a friend whose father passed from the same style of cancer she claimed to have had and when her descriptions of each treatment she was undergoing changed from day to day, I reached out to express my condolences to her RL sister on Myspace, as having seen family members of my own pass in RL I could relate to what she must be going thru and wanted to sympathize with her. I was in complete shock when I was told that I must be mistaken and that C.D. was not sick and that I misunderstood.

In light of this new information, I thanked her sister for letting me know the truth, and wished her aunt a speedy recovery, and logged into SL once more. Her sister responded to me once again apologizing for whatever confusion was caused. Now with this information, I went and confided in a few of my closest friends on SL, asking what kind of person would lie about this? However I decided to sit on this information and see whether or not the truth would be revealed to me with time. Eventually relations became even more strained as the new-found knowledge I had was eating me up inside. The fact I actually cared to the point where my RL demeanour suffered (and was noted by work colleagues) due to me being angry at the world for punishing someone I cared about got me even more worked up and I confronted C.D. about this new revelation and a few more that I had found out in talking with people.

Anyhow, I found out lie upon lie had been told to me over the tenure of our relationship and that the whole thing itself was founded upon lies. I now realized that I had overstepped the mark and that SL had affected my RL too much, as I am a very trusting person by general nature, however these revelations shocked me to my core, making me want to leave SL, as I didn't know who could be trusted anymore. However, C.D. became too 'ill' to actually play SL anymore, and as such threw a leaving SL 'party' with her friends while I was at RL work following a dramatic NC that explained it all along with a very photoshopped picture that left me and many many others unconvinced.

So upon C.D. 'leaving' SL the truth of this matter and extent of her deceptions didn't go beyond the partys that already knew. However, recently it emerged that C.D was running around in the A.E. alt which she has had hidden the whole time we were together and was planning to release a new collection of clothes. Now I knew she was as A.E. for a while, and cared nothing of the fact that the people at her 'going away' party were all in full knowledge that she planned to retreat to this alt, and I generally avoided contact with said people due to now knowing they could not be trusted.

When it came to the point of hearing graphically how ill a friends father was battling cancer online I snapped. I had to draw attention to how this one person, could make a mockery of all people battling cancer and I posted a comment on flickr in haste. It was laced with sarcasm, and was poorly worded, however it did get a reaction, which is all I hoped, however many people out there totally misconstrued how it was intended, mainly due my own haste and anger over this whole situation. Yes I am totally angry that people who know the extent of her lies could now be supporting her as though she did no wrong. No I don't believe myself to be perfect (I'm far from it, and as such, endeavour to better myself with each passing day) and what I wrote I can easily see how it was read by all the people who have now lambasted me for making it. However as you can see, I was only trying to expose this person for what they have done, my job as a blogger is to inform and entertain and my over-riding sense of altruism made me act in the way as to which to give these people information on the person with which they were supporting, and hope that in this knowledge that they could make a conscious decision as to whether to support her or not, as I would do anything to keep people from falling for the same abundance of lies she told me.

As for the Runway magazine thing, I am just sorry that I was never given a chance to explain my side of the story prior to them removing my article. I hope this sheds some insight into why I said what I said, and while it may have seemed very bad, I think it had to be said in such a way as to draw attention to an issue which affects us all. I may have gone about things in an unprofessional way in some peoples eyes, but I was only acting with getting the truth out there as my main objective. I can live with any consequence of these actions, as I know I was acting with the truth in mind, but for people to accuse me of inciting drama and whatnot, I have to ask, was I the one who told people I only had a short time to live and left SL under the pretense that I had to battle cancer months ago? Am I the one who made a mockery of those who use SL as an escape to get away from their RL, and think it is right to take advantage of those who care about you and mess with their emotions by making such false claims? Am I wrong to try warn people to stay away from people who partake in such activities? I guess only time will tell and I would like everyone to know that from now on, if you want to comment on this issue, I will leave this blog open for now, but please know that I am big enough to admit the way in which I drew attention to this persons actions was a mistake, lets see if she can do the same in explaining her actions.

P.S. to my friends and their families who are currently battling cancer, you all know my thoughts and well wishes are with you.

17 comments:

MeganK Draper said...

It's their loss..

MissEm said...

Jonny, i applaude you for your honesty and open heart in this. I hope people will realise that even though it is SL, you can only go that far in playing with people's emotions.

Kasen Kazan said...

I do not know why people do things like that. It must be a power ego thing. Makes you thinks about caring and making friends in SL. Some people gets off on playing with another persons emotions. They do need medical help for their RL mind!

Jarl Soderstrom said...

Truth is truth..and sometimes getting it out in the public eye can be ugly because nobody appreciates the bearer of such information. If I had a linden for every single time I was asked "what did Jonny say?" in the past couple of days I would have been able to give up modeling and retire. Sl Drama whores will always make mountains out of mole hills. The most surprising and disappointing of all was Runway magazine's handling of the situation without giving you the opportunity to explain your comments.

Anson said...

There are some statements in your blog that are not true. I guess, its better you find out the exact facts first before you assume you were played or dont just simply believe in what you see on surface or hear from others. I don't need to explain more, you know it inside your heart what they are.

Anson said...

And to add something, Jonny did not mention about the threathen he told towards her rl sister. Why was that missed?

Jonny Tobias said...

OK Anson, as you are totally full of shit, I will say publically right here right now that I still have the screengrab of my conversation with her sister on myspace and at no time did I ever threaten her at all. In fact, once she actually told me the truth I wished her aunt well and went on my merry way. Where you got this information, as well as you choosing to post with an anoymous account, just makes me laugh like the nameless people who commented over at SCD. And at the same time, I am still in my heart 100% certain of every single fact in my blog, so it is you who had better do their research I think

Jonny Tobias said...

oh and if you want a copy of said pic, I will send to your av with no problems at all. or are you just like her and like to hide behind your lies and anonymity? It is not photoshopped like the fake one she sent out upon 'leaving'. although I would probably blur the unimportant details such as my exposed email address and the like.

Anson said...

Isnt Anson my name? That isnt any no name comments by others. You know fully well, whether what you said is true, at the end of the day, its your own consience that you will have to answer. I am just feeling sorry for you.

Jonny Tobias said...

So still no av name that I can drop this pic to? it has the creation date and everything from the period where this happened. Or does irrefutable evidence mean nothing to you?

Anson said...

What makes you think I do not have it? What you had said, reacted and behaved just showed what kind of person you are. Like I said again, I feel sorry for you.

Creamy Cooljoke said...

Well this is awful!!

I only read about this on SCD where I made a mocking comment about 'SL models', but at that time I didn't know the story behind it all. Now I do know I am shocked. It is not the first time I have heard of people pretending to die in RL.

Lying about death and a serious illness such as cancer is terrible. Karma has a way of coming back and biting people like that on the bum. :(

Jonny Tobias said...

OK to anyone wanting to make any more comments on this blog, please dont do so under anonymous blogger accounts and at the very least leave your avatar name to back up whatever 'facts' you try to purport.

Aeris Betsen said...

Omg Jonny this is sad ..,man I like the way I do the take on Sl ..cut the bs with fake crap tell me the freaking truth ...want to hide who you are then c`ya! And huh I dont dig freaks that lie like that one.

Mary Baphomet said...

My own mother died of cancer leaving behind four children two under the age of 18 and two grandsons. It takes one hell of a person to lie about an illness like cancer. Having to watch your own mother wither up into an empty shell and try to be strong for her is unbearable. I don't wish that pain on any human but karma is a bitch and I hope she gets the full dose.
Just my two cents on the matter.

Viola Leigh said...

Dear Jonny, I know myself how hurtful it is in every life when you get belied - and there is no good way to handle with an situation like this. That person who betrayed you misses one thing that you have: a conscience. Persons without a conscience will never be hurt like you are and will never really understand why they did wrong. Maybe it is the most painful step to accept this! It truly was for me.
Youre a sweet and caring person with talent and a good heart, thats all that matters - forget the other crap and dont let it get you ;)
<3

Jezebel said...

Jonny, I don't know you and vice versa, but I do know of whom you speak. This lie that she told you, well, you are not the only one. She has chased away some very good people with her lies and deceptions. I remember the time she had passed out and her rl "bf" got a few of us all together to let us know. Later that night she seemed to be able to type to us with her "bf" laying on the hospital bed next to her. And her so weak. I have recently found lumps in one of my breats, and work with the ACS in SL. I am not angry with the girl, or feel any resentment. I feel sorry for her to have to go to such levels for attention. I empathize with the people she has hurt, being one myself, but when you get to the heart of the matter, she needs help. Jonny, you and I, and her other friends will go on without having to sneak around, changing names, and pretending to be someone else. WE are the winners!